It’s not a bad thing, it’s quite normal that you don’t always listen attentively and are fully involved. But there are some practical steps you can take to become a better listener:
- Actively focus on the person who is speaking and really try to understand what they are saying, i.e. maintain eye contact, pay attention to non-verbal cues and minimise distracting thoughts.
- Ask open questions to deepen the conversation and make sure you really understand the content, i.e. avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions.
- By asking follow-up questions, you build on what has been said and signal to the other person that you want to understand what is on their mind.
- Repeat what the person has said in your own words to make sure that you have understood the gist of their statement and to show that you are actively listening and are interested in what they are saying.
- Let the person finish before responding or commenting, as interruptions can make the speaker feel unheard or disrespected.
- Don’t just listen to the words, but also try to understand the emotions and motivation behind the statements, which requires patience and empathy.
- Be present and concentrate fully on the conversation without digressing or being distracted.
- If you notice that your attention is waning, your mind is wandering and you are no longer fully present, address this.
- Be open to feedback on how well you are listening and endeavour to constantly improve.
- Using the right non-verbal signals not only shows that you are listening, but also makes it easier for you to listen.
- Allow your feelings to be reflected in your face, e.g. by frowning, raising your eyebrows or smiling.